Having spousal troubles? Don't take domestic violence charges lightly.

It’s late. You had an argument with your wife. You don’t want things to get worse, so you leave and spend the night on a friend’s couch. The next morning, there’s a message on your phone. A police officer wants to talk to you about last night.

You think to yourself, I’ll just call the cop and tell him what happened. After all, it’s not like anybody got hurt. If I do get arrested, I’ll just clear this all up in court. If I actually get charged, I’ll get dad’s friend, who’s a real estate lawyer to help.

Wrong, wrong, really wrong!

Domestic violence cases are not simple to handle and are often difficult to settle, except under the district attorney’s strict and often unreasonable terms, which you are likely to regret. Defendants are often separated from their families for lengthy periods of time, forced to attend expensive so-called “batterers” programs for a year or more, and can result in you getting a permanent criminal record. Significant jail sentences are also common, especially for repeat offenders.

Some attorneys who are not experienced in handling domestic violence cases in Maine are surprised to find that their approach, which works in most cases, does not lead to a satisfactory outcome. Worse still, they often walk out of court with no idea that the “deal” they accepted is unnecessarily harsh.

The bottom line is that you should retain the best, most experienced, Maine lawyer who specializes in domestic violence. It’s also critical that you have that lawyer working for you as soon as you even suspect there is a problem. Here are just a few of the issues that you (and many lawyers) may not be aware of:

I had an argument with my wife that got a little nasty and I left for a short time. Two days later, I got a call from an officer. He wants me to come to the station tomorrow to straighten things out. He just wants to hear my side of the story. What should I do?

Don’t go!

A good lawyer will explain to you why you should never discuss the facts of your case with the police. The officer doesn’t want to “straighten things out.” He wants to arrest you and by going to the station, you’ve made that part of his job, very easy.  He does want to hear “your side of the story,” but only for the purpose of getting evidence against you. For instance, “She came home drunk and all I did was push her away when she tried to hit me.” Congratulations, you’ve just admitted you were present and that you pushed her. Your wife may not be available or willing to testify at trial, but you just gave the DA the evidence needed to go forward with the case. A good lawyer will make sure the police do not even question you. If you do get arrested, a lawyer that specializes in DV crimes can arrange for you to surrender at a time and date that will most likely keep you from being kept overnight before seeing the judge.

My wife doesn’t even want to press charges. She called the officer and said she wants to drop the case. So, my case will get dismissed right? Wrong.

The prosecution of a domestic violence cases is a criminal not civil matter. This means your wife is NOT a party to the case. She’s a witness. She’s an important witness, but only a witness and not a party. The party in a criminal case is the State of Maine and for this reason, your wife doesn’t have the power to make important decisions, like whether to bring or drop charges.

I’ve been arrested for Domestic Violence Assault. I’ve been released after posting bail and my next court date isn’t for three months. Can’t I just wait and see what happens and then get a lawyer?

If you have no criminal record, you have most likely posted a small amount of cash bail and were released with several special conditions including no contact direct or indirect with your spouse and children and a condition that you not return to her home; yes, even if that’s also your home.

If you don’t care about going home, or about seeing your children or about getting your belongings, or where you’ll live for the next nine months, then you could wait to hire a lawyer. Most of my clients don’t want to deal with this disruption for this long. Early intervention is the key to minimizing the damage and setting yourself up for a good outcome at the end of the case.

Maybe even more important, the earlier you hire a lawyer that specializes in domestic violence law, the earlier the defense investigation of your case begins. I am constantly surprised by the number of people (even other lawyers) who ask me why I should do my own investigation. I think people just assume that the police usually get it right.

They don’t.

What if your spouse’s written statement, that she gave to the officer is incorrect?

What if she left out major details, like the fact that she struck you first or that she had been drinking?

Do you think the officer will drive out to her house and re-interview her? Think again.

If your lawyer, using a trained private investigator, conducts and records that interview and if the statement she gives today, contradicts the statement given to the police, you have just created a powerful weapon for your defense, one that can be used in negotiations with the state or ultimately at trial. Do you think your friend, the real estate lawyer would do this?

If you are facing a domestic violence charge, call me today at 207-346-1993 or email me at nworden@sherman-worden.com to schedule a free office or phone consultation. I’ll answer your questions. I’ll give you honest advice. I’ll empower you to make decisions.

And I promise, at the very least, you’ll come away from our discussion feeling stronger and more confident, and with some semblance of peace-of-mind.